JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!
Pretend that you are in an automobile, for the first time EVER.
You (figure out how to) open the door and sit. You look at everything that is there…oh my! What a lot of shiny knobs and buttons there are! What’s this big WHEEL doing here?
Along comes your driving Instructor who hops in and says, “Drive!” So you grab–the cigarette lighter!
The Instructor FROWNS and says,
No! That is wrong!
You reach out to grasp the lever on the right–windshield wipers! Again, your Frowning Instructor says,
“NO! Don’t Touch That!”
Everything you try–turns out to be wrong. The Instructor Never offers any USEFUL information, See?
All He does (YES! It’s a HE! I’m the one telling this fable!)
All he DOES
is tell you that whatever you are doing…is WRONG–
and to quit it.
Ok enough story-telling! It is time for the point-making.
The point I’m making, is that
THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DO TO KIDS!
(note: No actual driving instructors were injured in the making of this blog…)
“Life is something that happens to you while you are busy making other plans”
John Lennon said that.
Life is sort of a self-explanatory, learn-as-you-go process.
You don’t KNOW everything….when you are five.
You don’t actually know ANYTHING yet, at that age…except what flavor of popsicle you prefer, or what
came out of Chuckie Aberkrantz’s nose at the snack table on any given day.
A fiver certainly does not know how to DRIVE LIFE. These things we learn as we go. We might offer some tips to those around us who haven’t got as many miles on them as we have. There are mistakes that you can learn to avoid.
BEHAVIOR needs to be modeled and explained. Boundaries need to be set. Kids need to know where they stand.
They need to have everything explained, right? “Where does the wind blow, where does the sun go?” They have lots
of questions these kids. But they don’t know SQUAT about how to behave, or what is expected of them, at any given moment.
Do you recall an event known as
Some of you OLDSTERS might have trouble with this one but what happened was
YOUR PARENTS BROUGHT YOU TO SCHOOL AT NIGHT!
And you went ape shit
Come on now…tell the truth. WE ALL DID! We were loud! We were giddy! We ran around after dark on the playground and our parents toured our classrooms and—nobody told us what to expect, what was expected OF us or how to behave. So we went nuckinFutz.
Hence, you cannot (and we do try, yes we do)
TEACH someone HOW to do something
by telling him what
NOT TO DO.
Don’t touch that, Don’t sit there, You’re not going outside wearing THAT!
From the moment they are crawling, they are crawling away from us. From the CONSTANT CRITICISM!
I speak with the authority of Teaching kids for twenty years. I speak with certainty after spending
eighteen years directing large groups of kids and getting them to do exactly what I have orchestrated.
For the Fun of it!
Explain every new situation to your child. Chances are…even the most mundane events to us will be new and exciting to them!
Look at how much kids love riding in a grocery cart!
………………. ……………………… ………………………………… !
Oh. I’m sorry. I was thinking about riding in the grocery carts. I have racked up many a frequent-flyer mile on those babies as a kid!
Anyway, just remember
KIDS ARE AWESOME
KIDS DON’T KNOW MUCH
and you will be fine. You can explain every single solitary (boring) THING to them NOW,
and for the rest of their lives
You can still be explaining things to them, such as how to act at the movies (Don’t cry or use a cell phone)
at the library (SSSSHHHHHH!) and
At the zoo
(DO NOT FEED THE AMINALS!)
and for all three, Don’t eat anything you find on the bottom of your shoe.
Now THAT’S USEFUL!
Then when they are 16, you can teach them how to drive a car.
Do you see? Do you see how we have come around full circle here?! WINK
May 9th, 2009
This is an anniversary of sorts, commemorating the day I left my husband of eight years. I filed for dissolution two days later.
This was a much better decision that I made by deciding to leave~
than the decision to wed~
In the first place.